HUCKA-AY, HUCKABEE, HUCKA-SEE....

I love it when history repeats itself…remember when the holier-than-thou “Repoop-licums” turned the word LIBERAL into a four letter word (the Palin New Math maybe??) around the time of the 1988 Presidential race? Well, it looks like SOMEONE took a page outta the book of the same guy the GRAND OLD PEONS trashed during the ‘88 Assault On Decency (the ascension of Bush I – former CIA head and toady to the nascent neo-con con artists!), and this potential 2012 front-runner, FOX taking head (oh, Mr. Goebbels!!) and Son of the South has just apparently WILLIE HORTONed hisself!!

That’s right, Mr. Intelligent Design Weight Loss (HWJD - How Would Jesus Diet??), MIKE HUCKABEE apparently let his FAITH instead of his JUDGEMENT as Governor of Arkansas (a state where double wides’ and fried pork feet are king!) guide him to grant clemency to a CORNUCOPIA OF CRIMINALS, a PLETHORA OF PLUNDERERS. a ROADMASTER OF RECIDIVISTS and the results have been OMG!!! Just recently, one of his good works in turning he other (ass?) cheek, ironically named CLEMMONS shot and killed 4 policeman in Seattle (he was serving a 108 YEAR SENTENCE ON 5 FELONIES – can you say LOCK THE DOOR AND THROW AWAY THE SCUMBAG????)….and another, rapist and canasta player WAYNE DUMOND, was also released by Saint Hucky, only to rape again and even murder!! Huckabee, who had also been a BAPTIST MINISTER actually took advice for other ministers when considering some of the OVER 1,000 releases…..uh, now can we put that old chestnut, THE SEPARATION OF CHRUCH AND STATE to rest as SETTLED LAW??? Don’t ya think that making decisions about releasing dangerous scumbags back into society should be reviewed by, oh, let’s say humans like LAWYERS, JUDGES, and PSYCHOLOGISTS and not GROWN MEN WEARING DRESSES AND BELIEVING THAT THE EARTH IS ONLY 6,000 YEARS OLD AND DINOSAUR BONES WERE PUT THERE BY THE DEVIL TO CONFUSE US????

And back to 1988, then Massachusetts Gov and Dem Presidential candidate Mike (another MIKE – coincidence?? I think not!!) Dukakis was dragged through the media coals because of his work-release program that erroneously sent Willie Horton back on the streets for some more THUNDERDOME – LET’S HOPE THE GRAND OLD PERVETS REMEMBER TO DO THE SAME TO PASTOR SCHMUCKABEE and his total LACK OF RATIONAL JUDGEMENT IN LETTING VIOLENT CRIMINALS BACK ON THE STREETS TO MOLLIFY HIS RELIGIOUS BELIEFS!!

Well, campers, it looks like it has, the feasting on one of their own has started – the commentators are dining on the weepy flesh of the former chub pol (the guy with the Greek last name on CNN – hey, are you paying for this???) and Hucky’s gonna be taking the ‘tard tank ride into the sunset just like Duke did in ’88…..and since he was one of the darlings of the conservative set, there may be even more pressure for Sarah “I’m a writer, yes I am!” Palin to lock and load in ’12 – much to the joy of demo/libs and silly comedians such as your humble narrator! So Huckster, next time when sitting in the BIG CHAIR and making the BIG PLAYS, stick to a playbook that was NOT put in motels all across America by the GIDEON SOCIETY!!

AFGHANISTAN MON AMOUR!!

So there’s some OBAMA DRAMA – looks like the CHOSEN ONE has some tarnish on the ol’ patina cabesa– no healthcare (well, leave it up to that block of wood HARRY REED and the runner-up to the Tim Curry look-alike contest NANCY PELOSI and we’ll be paying $200 for a band-aid!), energy (well, fuck, let’s all get a damn Prius and a nutsack full of $1 Whole Foods reusable bags and it’ll be cold enough to see Mastodons dry humping in Corona!!)– it’s all slipping away from Baraky…..but now what’s giving him a bigger ulcer than GLENN BECK doing the briss on JOE BIDEN’S withered man tube while getting a reach around from Bill O’Reilly is the “good” war – AFGHANISTAN, or more popularly known as “that pile of rocks from the 13TH CENTURY”!! So it’s getting’ away from us…and OBAMA is under pressure to SHIT OR GET OFF IRAN (hey, it rhymes!) – does he pay lip service to his hybrid driving medical pot smoking limp wristed electorate who demand a total withdrawal and then turn the whole place into CAMP DIRTY BOMB (I think I went to the Long Island branch when I was 8….I hated farts and crafts I tells ya!) or, COMMITT 60,000 MORE TROOPS and give General McChrystal a woody that would make NASA’s new retro “back-to-the-past” waste of cash moon program jealous!

And what else is the result of this insanity - overworked, shell shocked 20 year olds, victims of MORON BUSHES USELESS WARS – forced to do more tours than the Amy Winehouse tours of UK rehab centers – NO NO NO!!! OBAMA MAMA SAID NO!! What are we, Chad? Upper Volta?? Six Flags??? WE’RE THE GODDMAN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – are we gonna fight donkeys with pea shooters??? JUST NUKE THE DAMN DEAL!!! They have burros – WE HAVE STEALTH BOMBERS – they have dudes who keep their woman bound and at home pounding bread dough on rocks (hey, not a bad idea – KIDDING) – WE HAD SKYLAB (didn’t that fall on Chernobyl?? I gotta read more!!) – so, here’s the solution – GET OUR BOYS OUT, NUKE ‘EM FLAT, when it stops glowing like a Timex Indiglow on a harried hookers wrist, FLOOD THE PLACE WITH STARBUCKS AND BURGER KINGS! You know that’s what we wanna do, it’s what we do best – America has only two exports left – OBESITY AND DIABETES – and the world can’t get enough – with all their commie wealth, they’re called CHUNKS now in China!!! So that’s it – problem solved, case closed!!

And, if you wanna avoid the thousands of years of DANGEROUS RADIOACTIVE FALLOUT – then just bombard them with CHAPULAS AND POP TARTS NOW – cut to the chase – pudgy terrorists won’t be able to get a suicide belt around their bulging burkas – the corpulently cuddly don’t wanna do anything but sit around, eat and watch lesbo porn – I SHOULD KNOW! All I do is pound the eggrolls and lie around all day WRITING THIS SHIT!! So there you go, Pres. Obama – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, AGAIN….now get me my free gastric bypass and ass reduction, government option, of course – and a bucket of suicide hot wings with a side of cheese fries in recovery!

SCREW THE NEW YORK YANKEES!

So everyone in NY is all happy in the pants and mooing like the scared cows they all think they are about the goddam YANKEES winning the USELESS world series - SCREW THEM ALL - buncha 'roided up millionaire man-children with a muscular propensity who'll be knocking back coke and top shelf whores with their win bonuses while the rest of us rot away in miserable jobs with no benefits and have to work until we drop dead - AND YOU ROOT FOR THIS??? Do you think A-ROID gives a USED HUMAN GROWTH FACTOR HYPO if you have to pay $1,000 for a mammogram just to find out that you can't afford the $100,000 to liberate the cancerous tumor from madam titty??? AND YOU ROOT FOR THE YANKEES?? - owed by the demented SON OF A MILLIONAIRE SHIPPING MAGNATE Steinbrenner and his like minded progeny...SPEW HOT LAVA VOMIT ON THEM!! Also millionaires - why do the mouth breathing, hot pocket eaters in this country side with the millionaires THAT COULD GIVE A SHERPA'S ANAL PRODUCTION ABOUT YOU - you and your children are canon fodder for their oil wars, their new pharmaceuticals, their crash test dummies...and like lambs to the slaughter you keep SUCKING THE CROCUS LEAVES OF THE MAN - like when you re-elected the reptilian billionaire scumholster hubristic dorkfest MICKEY SPLOOGEBERG - to him it's all a gas, a cotillion of ego whilst the hoi polloi EAT EACH OTHER AFTER THEY VOTED FOR HIM - morons, imbeciles, schmuckfests - WAKE UP - worshiping the DANKEES and their carpet bagging carpsucking mayor DOOMBERG will get you NOTHING!!! wake up and get a spelunking job for $7 an hour wrapping christmas presents for their farting tax deduction breeder offspring for their savior's birthday party while they dine on YOUR BLOOD!!! So MANSPEW THE YANKEES - and Let's Go METS (a good proletariat baseball squad....and maybe a WORLD SERIES win while I can still chew food with my own teeth????)!